In Grand Rapids, many teens silently struggle with performance anxiety and social anxiety, impacting their confidence, academic achievement, and relationships. As a parent, it can be difficult to know how to help your child manage these invisible challenges—but with the right tools and support, healing and growth are possible.
Recognizing Signs of Performance and Social Anxiety in Teens
Adolescents may not always verbalize their stress. Instead, anxiety shows up in behavior:
- Academic stress or test anxiety: Meltdowns before exams, excessive studying, or procrastination.
- Avoidance of social events: Turning down invitations, staying isolated, or using their phone as a shield in public settings.
- Physical complaints: Headaches, stomachaches, fatigue, or visits to the school nurse.
- Irritability or low self-esteem: Harsh self-talk, sensitivity to feedback, or excessive perfectionism.
- Changes in sleep or eating habits: Trouble falling asleep or skipping meals due to worry.
If you recognize these signs, you’re not alone. Many families in the Grand Rapids area are navigating this with their teens—and at Beyond the Couch Counseling, we’re here to help.
Practical Parenting Tips: CBT, ACT & Motivational Interviewing in Action
Here are actionable ways parents can support their teen, grounded in evidence-based therapeutic strategies:
1. Validate and Reflect (Motivational Interviewing)
Instead of “You’re overreacting,” try:
🗣️ “It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed by the pressure of getting it right.”
Using reflective listening opens the door for your teen to express emotions without feeling judged. It builds trust and increases their motivation for change.
2. Challenge Negative Thinking (CBT Strategy)
Help your teen identify and reframe automatic thoughts. For example:
❌ “Everyone will laugh at me during my presentation.”
✅ “I might feel nervous, but I’ve prepared, and most people are focused on themselves.”
Encourage a “thought detective” mindset: “What’s the evidence for and against that belief?”
3. Name the Values Beneath the Fear (ACT Strategy)
Performance anxiety often signals a deep desire to do well or be accepted. Help your teen clarify their values:
“It makes sense you’re nervous—this matters to you. What’s important about this moment for you?”
Then, shift the focus from feeling perfect to acting on purpose:
👉 “What would it look like to show up for your values, even if anxiety tags along?”
4. Encourage Small, Supported Exposure (CBT/ACT)
Avoidance increases anxiety. Instead, gently support small steps:
- Role-play a tough conversation or presentation at home.
- Go with them to a group event, then slowly reduce your presence.
- Create a “bravery ladder” where each rung is a small challenge they can take on.
Celebrate efforts, not outcomes:
👏 “You stayed in the moment even though it was tough—that’s real courage.”
5. Model Calm and Flexible Thinking
Your tone, body language, and responses set the emotional temperature. When they’re distressed, try:
🌱 “This is hard right now, and we’ll get through it together.”
Demonstrating regulation and hope helps them borrow your confidence until they can find their own.
Local Counseling Support in Grand Rapids: Meet Our Adolescent Therapists
At Beyond the Couch Counseling in Grand Rapids, our team offers teen-focused therapy that blends clinical expertise with warm, affirming care. Three of our standout clinicians specializing in performance and social anxiety in teens are Fernando Davis, Katie RietKerk and Jaimie Sullivan.
👩⚕️ Fernando Davis, LLMSW
Fernando is a psychotherapist at Beyond the Couch Counseling who is passionate about guiding individuals from all backgrounds toward becoming the best version of themselves. He believes in the power of possibility and works alongside clients to help them move forward and live the life they desire.
👩⚕️ Katie RietKerk, LLPC
Katie builds strong relationships with teens through warmth and empathy. She supports adolescents navigating anxiety and low self-esteem using CBT and strengths-based techniques. Her calm and collaborative style helps teens reclaim their confidence and create healthier thinking patterns.
👩⚕️ Jaimie Sullivan, LLMSW
Jaimie brings a dynamic, engaging energy to therapy with children and adolescents. She integrates play, expressive techniques, and ACT-based tools to help teens reduce avoidance behaviors, explore identity, and build social resilience. Her approach empowers families to work together as a team.
Why Beyond the Couch Counseling Is a Trusted Resource in Grand Rapids
- Flexible options: In-person or telehealth sessions
- Therapeutic approaches are catered to our client’s. No one size fits all approach.
- Teen-focused specialties in anxiety, depression, self-esteem, and stress management.
- Welcoming, affirming environment that teens actually look forward to returning to.
We believe that therapy should empower—not pathologize. Our goal is to help your teen build lifelong tools for self-understanding, self-compassion, and growth.
Start the Conversation Today
If your teen is struggling with performance anxiety or social anxiety in Grand Rapids, don’t wait. Early intervention can transform anxiety from something that feels like a threat to something that becomes manageable.
📞 Call us at (616) 209-9277
🌐 Schedule a free 15-minute consultation at beyondthecouchcounseling.com
Together, we can help your teen feel more confident in who they are—on stage, in the classroom, or just walking into a room.
Want to Suggest a Book for Teens on Anxiety?
We’re building a resource list for local families. 📚
Send your favorite titles to: admin@beyondthecouchcounseling.com
